Boys will be Joys

This picture…

This picture has wrecked me this morning. When I looked at my memories, I saw this picture, and it became so real to me that a part of my life is ending tomorrow. Jono will be graduating on Friday, and that means my career as a mom of school-aged children is over.

Being a mom has truly been the joy of my life. It has been crazy. It has been loud. It smelled bad for several years in my house. These boys have made me crazy, they have made me mad (like really mad). I’ve been scared, worried, and my heart has hurt more than I realized it could. Mostly, though, they have brought me joy, laughter, fun, and a sense of pride in who they are.

A truth that we know, but many times dismiss is that we are raising our kids, simply to leave us, and hopefully no longer need us, at least not in the same ways. If we do our job correctly, they will do just that, and it will hurt.

As I have thought about this all morning, it has caused so many emotions, because I realize the brevity of what we do as mothers. The daily tasks that are more than just being a mom, but preparing our children for adulthood.

Recently, I shared something about myself with Derek that I had not told him in all the years we’ve been together. I’m not sure I’ve even realized it about myself until just recently.

“I’ve always wanted to be really good at something, maybe even the best at something.”

It’s like I’ve always been looking for my “big break”, right? That thing that I try, and then I find out I’m pretty good at. Something that no one else could do. Something that would make an impact. Something that would change the world.

In my life, I’ve never quite had time to find that big break. I was just good enough at a lot of little things, which caused me to spread myself pretty thin.

I saw a quote from Andy Stanley once that said, “Your greatest contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something you do but someone you raise.”

When I looked at this picture this morning, the reality of this time in my life reminded me of that quote. I realized something…

This was my big break.

This was my chance.

I walked three little boys through childhood, adolescence and into manhood. I’ve had the opportunity to impact their lives. For a short time, I was their world.

Am I the best?

NO.

Did I do something that no one else could do?

YES.

Will my work change the world?

TBD… (But I’ve got a good feeling about this one)