Boys will be Joys

Sometimes, life as a UPS family is… different. I don’t exactly know the word that would describe it, but if you’re living it, you understand.  

This picture popped up in my memories a few weeks ago. Derek had to do a “lot check” on the July 4th holiday, and the boys ended up getting a little lesson in feeder safety.

It made me think – none of us wanted to be at UPS on the 4th of July, but we wanted to be together, so we made the best of it.

When I met Derek, he was unloading brown cars (getting paid to work out for four hours each day). UPS was not necessarily a career choice for him. It was just a good job while he attended college. Shortly before we got married at the age of 20, he started as an intern in the Industrial Engineering department. This was the only position in the company that did not offer insurance benefits. It was a great opportunity that would provide great experience, because UPS always looked good on a resume.

Honestly, those first couple years of marriage are kind of a blur. He was working to pay for life as a married couple with a house (and a dog) while finishing his bachelor’s degree.

I was working my tail off in the salon to pay for married life and Derek’s bachelor’s degree. 

About ten months after getting married, we found out we were pregnant. Again, both of our jobs did not provide insurance. BUT, there just “happened” to be an opening for a part-time supervisor in the IE department.  Derek was blessed to get that job and the benefits that came with it. 

Looking back, we realize that the part-time supervisor position  was not a coincidence. God, through Derek’s manager, and UPS, provided a way for us to start our family without the burden of a huge hospital bill. Honestly, Derek’s years in IE, and the people he worked with, were pretty great. We have such good memories and lifelong friends that were made during that time.

They even had a baby shower for Derek (and I) before Isaac was born. It was literally Derek’s baby shower and it was PERFECT!  

Derek graduated from college with a 6 month old at home, and continued his career with UPS… because he was pretty good at it.

Derek went from part-time to full-time. He relocated from the office on Hubbard…to the airport…to the hub… and a few special assignments along the way. Then, he moved 750 miles away to Texas where he worked at the Dallas building…DFW airport…and now he is at Arlington Lonestar facility.

Through the years, he spent three weeks at DTS, three weeks in Houston training new drivers, weeks of special assignments away from home, several peak seasons in Chicago, and he spent Isaac’s entire senior year of high school settling into a new job in TX. We left Illinois to live with him right after Isaac’s graduation.

I’m proud to say that young man who started unloading trucks in 1995 is now a Feeder Division Manager.

He always had a crazy schedule. It changed all the time – by the month, by the week, by the day, by the hour. Lots of 12-14 hour days and shifts that would overflow from seconds and thirds. For a few golden years while we lived in Illinois, Derek worked nights.

One would think that nights would be more difficult, but it was actually pretty great. He was able to come home and go to bed about the time the boys were leaving for school (usually), and wake up right about the time they were getting out of school. Sometimes he got 8 hours of sleep, other times he got 4-5 hours of sleep.

For the most part, though, he was home for dinner, homework, and school activities. Sometimes, he was even home long enough for bedtime prayers. Then he would head to work and I would head to bed. I always had at least two dogs by my side to keep me safe.

It was a pretty great, except for the times that I had to make midnight runs to the ER for 105 temps and croup. That was always an adventure.

Since moving to TX, his schedule has pretty much remained the same – it’s AWFUL!

Actually, it’s not so bad. I think this crazy schedule might be the key to our happy marriage. He works a schedule they call the “twilight shift”. He goes to work around lunch time and gets home in the middle of the night. So, I’m at work when he wakes up and leaves, and I’m asleep when he gets home. We cherish our Saturday/Sundays because those are the only two days of the week that we get to spend in each other’s company.

Honestly, after living apart for a year, I’m just happy to live in the same state same city same house as Derek.

Seeing him two days a week is way better than 2 days a month.

So, what kind of impact has this crazy UPS life had on our family? Well, it has not always been easy. Is easy always good, though? Not necessarily.

UPS literally infiltrates every part of our life. If you are married to a UPSer, you understand the midnight phone calls, the multiple cell phones, the peak holiday seasons, the “safety first” mentality, and how they ALWAYS back-in to a parking place.

I know way more about the ins and outs of UPS than anyone (who doens’t work at UPS) should. Almost all UPS wives, do, though. That’s because every UPS social event is spent talking about… you guessed it… UPS!

I have spent a few dates nights eating my food and listening to his end of a UPS phone call. In fact, we’ve ended a few date nights early so that he can deal with a crash or some other UPS crisis.

My boys have heard some foul language (and legendary humor) while listening to some calls that he had on speaker.

He’s missed a few ball games, maybe some award ceremonies, and a few doctor appointments because he could not get away.

I’ll admit it… I’ve said, “I hate UPS” more than a few times.

UPS can consume every part of a person, just like any corporate job can. Honestly, this may be why a lot of UPS marriages don’t make it.

My UPSer, though, has always been intentional about being present with us.

He may not have been there for all the ball games, but he found his way to most of them.

He was there when each baby was born and any prenatal appointments I asked him to go to.

If he had to go do a lot check on a holiday, we went with him and hung out in the office while he “finished up a few things” (always more than a few).

If he was out of town, he called to talk or Facetime his family. When we lived several states away, he found his way back every weekend that he could.

Yes, over the years, he has been at UPS more than he has been at home,

but

we always knew he would rather be at home than at UPS.