Boys will be Joys

I started writing a post about various ER visits a few weeks ago, and then these pictures popped up in my FB memories.

As you can imagine, we have had our share of ER visits in this family. Just off the top of my head, I can think of the following:

3 broken thumbs

1 broken foot

1 broken ankle

2 broken wrists

1 chemical burn

A few cuts that requried care

Numerous cases of croup, pneumonia, chest pain, etc…

When the boys were little, most visits were either a temperature of 105 that I couldn’t get under control, or croup. When these visits happened, Derek was working nights. I had to get all three kids out of bed and drag them all to the ER. Good times!

When Isaac had a broken ankle, he thought it was great, because he could use the scooter at Sam’s.

My crushed thumb was quite an experience. (You can read about it in my former blog post, “The Adventures of a One-thumbed Hairstylist” from August 2018.)

Then, the time that I had such a bad migraine, I had to go to the ER. As soon as we got home from that visit, Jono and Russ rode their bikes back from Grandma’s house. Derek walked into the bedroom while I was getting ready to lay down. He said, “You’re not going to believe this, but I think Jono just broke his arm. I need to take him to the ER.” So, Derek turned around and went straight back to the ER he just came from.

We took Russ to the ER on a Sunday afternoon after he had fallen off the swingset at home the day before. Russ could be a tad dramatic about things. When he fell, he caught himself with his hands, stood up, and ran into the house screaming, “I broke both my wrists, I broke both my wrists.” Being the stellar mom I was, I ignored him. The next day at church a friend who was also an RN suggested a visit to the ER. I think Russ told on me! She said one wrist looked sort of concerning to her.

He broke BOTH wrists. Two weeks later, for some unknown reason, Russ was helping pump gas. (Too many questions there for this blog.) Anyway, he ended up spilling gas all over himself and down one of his casts. So, we went back to the ER, two weeks later, to meet the same ER staff. Long story short, the cast came off, Russ had a chemical burn, and I asked the nurse if they were going to call DCFS. She comforted me with the following words: “Usually the ones who ask that question are not the ones that we are concerned about.” Thank you, I think.

Honestly, though my family’s sense of humor is so warped that we laugh more than we should in uncomfortable situations. Okay, not my family, me and Derek. I’ll give you two examples.

The first time was when Derek came straight from work to meet me at the ER. That meant he was wearing his brown uniform. I don’t remember what was wrong with me, but I remember this. The person came to our room to finish registration. She asked the usual questions. Then she said, “Does Derek still work at UPS?”

We thought the question had an obvious answer. So, we looked at each other and chuckled. Then we quickly said, “Yes”, after we realized that she did NOT see the humor in the question. I think maybe you had to be there for that one…

BUT…

The other moment that we shared was when I took Derek to the ER because he sliced his finger with a knife and needed something… stitches or glue. I don’t remember.

I was quite frustrated to be taking him to the ER, because I was about ten months pregnant and I wanted to be the one getting admitted to the hospital. So, I was already a little grumpy.

Again, someone came in to ask more questions.

Nurse: Last question. Do you feel safe at home?

He looked at me…

My pregnant self looked back at him with both eyebrows raised, I’m sure…

He looked at the nurse…

Derek: Sometimes she says mean things to me…

The nurse responded in exactly the way you would expect her to respond.

I tried to walk out and leave him there, but they wouldn’t let me.