Boys will be Joys

Not much longer until he reached his destination. Russ was on the second day of traveling with his family from Dallas, Texas to the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. He had been looking forward to this trip for quite some time. It had been at least four years since he last spent time with his entire extended family. Having left Illinois six years earlier, Russ didn’t get to spend nearly as much time with his Illinois family as he used to. Before moving to Texas, the Rennerts would vacation together yearly. He’s been looking forward to this for months. This vacation was going to be great, and nothing could dampen his excitement, or so he thought.

He spent the entire day before in the backseat of the car with his brother, Jonothan. His parents drove from Dallas to Jackson, TN in pouring rain all day. The whole family (all six of them) stayed in a single hotel room last night. Russ slept, if you can call it that, on the couch next to his snoring brother. Today, though, was a new day, sunny and bright. Fortunately, they had a much shorter drive today than they did the day before.

It seemed like they should be arriving soon . Russ was growing tired of being in the car with his family. His mom’s music selection wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t perform each song with such a ridiculous amount of enthusiasm, and with such great volume. She performs each song as if she is in concert, and the cars passing by are her adoring fans. She’s not an awful singer, but she’s not nearly as good as she seems to think she is. He has never seen his mom display more confidence than when Kelly Clarkson is her backup singer.

To drown out the noise and kill some time, Russ had been listening to his favorite D & D podcast. As the latest episode wrapped up, Russ pressed pause so that he could ask how much longer until they arrived. He had no idea that when he pressed pause, he would hear his mom say something that would forever change him. Something mean and hateful. Something he would have never imagined he would hear from his own mother…

“It can’t be that much longer,” Russ thought. “Since this episode is over, I’ll take a break and get an ETA.” As he pressed pause, Russ could feel his mom looking his way. She did this quite frequently on a long trip like this. “Why does she keep looking back here glaring at me?” he thought. This time, though, she wasn’t looking at him. She had turned her head toward Derek in a very intentional way. Then Russ heard her say, “You’re the reason our kids are ugly…”

Ten minutes earlier…

They were closing in on the last leg of the trip. It was their second day of travel and the last couple of hours are always the most difficult for Derek. Derek always gets sleepy while driving for a long distance. To make things worse, he didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, having stayed in a hotel room with all six Texas Rennerts. To help keep Derek alert and awake, Laura always plays upbeat music that they both know. She usually sings and dances along with the music. Partly becuase it was fun and it annoyed her children, but partly because it kept Derek awake.

As Laura scrolled through Spotify, she looked for familiar songs from the 80’s and 90’s playlists. Derek had grown tired of Whitney Houston and “Living on a Prayer”. He asked her to play a song that he just recently became aquainted with called “Fancy Like”. Yes, that song has been around for quite some time, but Derek works a lot (and doesn’t get out much). While listening to Derek’s requested song, Laura looked through various county playlists on Spotify. Scrolling down one of the random lists, she found an old song that she had never heard of before.

Just as she found that song, Jonothan asked if he could take over as DJ, and play his favorite genre, which is jazz, for a little while. “Sure,” Laura said, “but I want to play one song for your dad before that I’ve never heard before, and it looks like it could be interesting”. Derek became curious. He asked, “What song is that?”

Laura looked at Derek, then she said…

“You’re the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly”.